Hi Button: I have made a new guestbook as the old one from Bravenet would put tracking software on everyone's computer and I just do not like that. I have made a special cloud just for the old comments so anyone can view them. I do dearly miss having you here near me. I know Eddie is still deeply hurt by your passing over - I pray that he will come to terms with your passing - though it is very very hard to do. I hope others who visit you realize just how deadly Anorexia Bulimia is and do not let it kill them as it killed you. Love and Miss You So Much - Dad
This Lady Georgia Has done a Fantastic Job, putting together this site. It just may be the answer to someone's prayers. Congratulations! Your Friend, B.J. McDowell
Love from Lisa, Belfast n-Ireland
Hi - this is a very beautiful but very sad and emotional site 4 me - upset and crying for all of you and your precious daughter. I am going to try and seek help on Monday the 4th august 2003 but at the same time I don't even want to breath anymore. I love your site and read it all the time God bless you all Lots of prays and hugs Dania
I think it is wonderful, I hope it helps a lot of girls understand that it can kill you. I most be one of the lucky ones, I had anorexia and bulimia from the age of 13 years old I am now 23 you seem to go round in circles. I am so glad she as wonderful parents. now I have a wonderful 1 year old boy who I call my little miracle.
Shanda- thank you. that's all I can say.....thank you
Hi Button: I hope the new beginning cloud does not stop people from viewing your whole site. I just want to let them know that this is not a pro-anorexia / bulimia site. I lost you - I just do not want others to make the same mistake thinking they have control over eating disorders when eating disorders control them - then kill them. Love & Miss You Deeply, Dad
Hello!!! My name is Svenja, I am 24 years old and I live in Germany. I got Anorexia Nervosa when I was 17 - since then I fight against it as good as I am able to do it. I was deeply impressed by this side and linked it on my homepage (second link side): www.McBealAlly.de (it is German. It is called so, because I study to became a lawyer..). I am also impressed by the love of this family, because I got the feeling, that I lost the love of mine, the moment they noticed my illness. That hurts. I will visit this website regularly and I am sorry for what has happened to your daughter. Sorry for my bad English. Yours, Svenja
This website is really touching! thank you !!!!!
Hello. I recently found this site after looking for pro-anorexia sites. I'm not anorexic myself but am interested in the topic for research purposes. This website is truly touching. You have boldly shared your pain in an effort to help others. I would like to dedicate my life to helping those with eating disorders just as you have. By that, I will be applying to a Grad program in the Fall that is focused on such issues. Shanda's life was taken much too soon. Her spirit will live on though, in all of the individuals she (and you) has helped. Thank You, Amy; Buffalo, NY
Hi Button: I hope more people come to see you so they learn how deadly Anorexia / Bulimia is and use your Help Cloud to get help. Love & Miss You Dearly, Dad
Hi, my name is Alli, and I just wanted to say that i am terribly sorry for your loss. I, myself was considering doing something drastic to my body, just so I could make myself happier. The problem was that I originally weighed 125, so there was no reason to turn to such a drastic makeover. Well that was 5 years ago, and I have no ever thought of doing that again. It was people like you, who save lives, by posting your stories on the net. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!!!!! if you would like to e-mail me please do so, at alliwally@hotmail.com .thanks
Hi, I entered your web site thinking that it would be just another sad story. But when i looked at the details i realized that it was much more than that. I look at the pictures thinking how grateful i am that i have not lost someone to this horrible eating disorder. I am truly sorry for your loss and i hope that you can find the power in God to move on. I read some of the passages that you have written about your daughter and i cried. I was deeply touched on all of the comments that you had to say I hope that one day this deadly eating disorder gets put to rest; and i think that it will be from people like you. Thank you so much for posting this site and getting your story out to the public. Sincerely, Alli!
I just wanted to say that having a tough time with my ed at present- reading this made me feel so selfish have a great family and a lovely little boy- and I AM SO SORRY FOR YOU LOSS- YOU HAVE TRULY HELPED ME, HEAPS OF LOVE#XXX
Thank You so much for your time and effort in making this wonderful site. it has moved me in so many ways unimaginable. i am truly sorry for your loss...
I am 12 yrs old from the UK and even though I live far away, your web site has truly touched me and will hopefully have the same effect on every who visits. God Bless Hannah xx fortunehannah@aol.com
Hi Shanda: Just stopping in to say Hi and I Miss & Love You - Dad
I thought your web site was truly touching. It really made me stop and think how important it is to tell your loved ones you love them, and never take advantage of any day you have to share with them! Thank you! My thoughts will always be floating on one of your clouds~ Tracy Violette Acworth,Georgia
Hi, I am trying to reach out to males who are suffering from anorexia nervosa that are living in Canada. I would like to do a story of the males point of view. I was very touched by your web page and thought this is a page where people can come to share and learn. I can be reached at maleanorexia@hotmail.com
Hello! You give me faith. I want to be well, but I can't... I try so hard, but I don't know how.. But keep up, I believe in you! Love Rebecca
Hi! It's Barb. I was here on 10Jan03. Unfortunately, While I did well at Remuda Ranch, things fell apart when I got back. A friend of mine from Remuda, Laura, killed herself in March because her anorexia got to bad to take. She was a beautiful person-Just like Shanda. My 2 best girlfriends from "the Ranch" are also struggling. Because I'm a 117 lb 5.3 bulimic-since 1986!!!- I'm considered too healthy to require any "real" treatment- according to my insurance .Some of my anorexic friends are getting the same story. This evil disease controls everything about you. I'm 33 and don't know how to have fun anymore. This is a lovely site and my heart weeps for Shanda!! I'm ashamed because, I envy the ana's. I'm stuck being a chubby 117-120lb 5.3 exercise bulimic :,<(
A note to Barb; I do wish you would e-mail so that we can chat. I truly want to help you in anyway I am able to. Please e-mail me at: georgiashaffer@earthlink.net
I wish you Rainbows of Happiness, Georgia
I think your Website is great. I believe anyone who visits this site will leave it with thoughts of this horrific disease and a realization of the power it has on individuals. It is frustrating that all I can say is the predictable "Sorry for your loss", because we both know as nice as the thought behind it is , it really is a phrase that doesn't help the pain decrease at all. None the less, I feel that I have to acknowledge the empathy I have for your daughter, sister, and friend. I too have my own story , although I don't want to donate another terrible story. I will however say that I know from experience that anyone who struggles with this has issues they haven't dealt with that go far beyond just food. If any of you out there every want to talk to me without judgment feel free to contact me. My name is Natasha I have a yahoo messenger chat name is tassja2002 or my email address can also be used as a contact source. It is tassja2002@yahoo.ca Take Care , and I hope the spirit and love of Shanda live on amongst us all.
[Thank you for visiting Shanda's site and your kind words and willingness to help others. Georgia]
Hey! This site is terribly sad...as is her old site that told me to come here. But, it's also very truthful in many ways...because I have anorexia / bulimia and I hate it. and I am trying to stop. But yeah,.. this really opens my eyes.. [Thank you for visiting Shanda's site and your kind words, Georgia]
I truly love the site, its taught me a lot more in emotional ways, I am dearly sorry for your loss, love always Amanda, I pray for you and your family.
[Thank you for visiting Shanda's site and your kind words, Georgia]
I am not anorexic but I just saw a movie on the eating disorder. I wanted to look up on the disorder. I hope the family of Shanda has healed and thanks to them and this site a lot more people will get help.
[Thank you for visiting Shanda's site and your kind words, Georgia]
Ms. Shaffer, I've started an ed awareness log and I don't remember its exact address-I'm new to it, and I've got your link on it. I hope that's okay. Thanks, Barb-from august 28th.
Hi Barb: When you have the log address - please email it to me. Wishing you Rainbows of Happiness, Georgia
There are no words to describe what I am feeling. I am so sad for your loss and for everyone else that is experiencing this horror. But, at the same time I am grateful that this site is out there. If it helps just one person then Shanda's unfortunate death was not in vain. May God bless! Stay strong, remember she is loved! Laurie - NYC [Thank you for visiting Shanda's site and your kind words and I wish you Rainbows of Happiness, Georgia]
This is the sweetest site I have ever seen and I cried sooo hard when I first saw pictures of anorexic girls. One of my older cousins was anorexic when she was younger, but she made it through, and I am thankful for that! I plan to help people who are anorexic when I grow up, and I just wanted to say this site is WONDERFUL! LOVE, KAYLA; Age 14 Minnesota [Thank you for visiting Shanda's site and your kind words. I wish you Rainbows of Happiness with you life's goal., Georgia]
I was very touched by this web site and I truly know what is like to lose loved ones, as I have just lost both of my grandparents in a drowning/car accident. It seems the pain and sorrow will never leave. I am also a bulimic and feel as if it has taken over my whole life, I am not the same person anymore, I hate it. I am a very tall girl and everyone always says how beautiful I am and that I should be a model, so I think in my head that that is what I should be and I have to be so skinny. Its driving me crazy though and its killing me, literally. The site does not tell how she passed and what exactly happened to her from years of being anorexic/bulimic, the story was not finished. I was wondering what happened....I am deeply sorry for your loss and hope god is with you all. xoxo AJB [Thank you for visiting Shanda's site. I am making changes to Shanda's' site. I have expanded on what killed her on her first cloud and will be adding more to her story - soon. It is just hard writing all of it. Please send me your email address by clicking here ]
I'm crying right now, and pray Dear Lord, bless and look after Shanda, she deserves your love and care. I was severely incapacitated last Christmas and was told my heart was likely to stop within weeks.
I'm here now though, struggling, but back to my target weight and at home (not in a horrible hosp or ed unit) I don't want to die. I still want to lose weight but where will it get me? Thank you for these clouds, reminding me anorexia kills, and dying to be thin means being thin is pointless, right!? [I am truly happy that you were able to get help and that your heart did not stop - like Shanda's did. It is pointless to starve yourself just to be thin. Please come back to Shanda's Clouds - she will help you realize how deadly Eating Disorders are.]
I almost started crying when I read your story maybe its good I read it I'm not all that healthy myself I am battling the very same thing. from Sheryl Winnipeg, MB
This site is truly amazing... i have been struggling with anorexia for 4 years... and am recovering. this site has helped me in my battles with recovery and I really thank you for making it. sending love to you all... thank you.
I'm Very surprised to find this site. I'm from Brazil and this kind of illness happen here, much more since Gisele Bünchen become a star. I'm a "bulimia girl" since my 16. And now i have a baby to take care, but i keep doing this since my daughter was born. I think this message is important to show that isn't funny and very serious. I'm doing a psychology treatment now, and i feel much better. I'm sorry for my terrible English... I'll be happy if you send a mail madame@cbgb.net Bye
I think this is so great that you made this site. I am 31 and have a 7 year old daughter, and I will give her another hug and kiss.. God Bless
Thank you for visiting my daughters memorial clouds. Never let a day go by that you miss a chance to Hug your daughter and let her know how much you Love Her. I miss doing that with Shanda.
Hi Shanda's Mom, Dad, and family members (Shanda too !!):
I have 3 friends that are on "clouds" with her, due to eating disorders. Friends that struggled for decades and lost. And in losing the battle, took a big part of me with them. I know of more that are still fighting. Please, Please, I'm begging all that visit this precious, loving web page if you know someone affected, no matter how much they try to protest, fight their fight with them. And if, God forbid, they are too beaten and weakened - fight for them. One more loss to this is one too many.
This disease / disorder (how can anyone really put a label on a monster?) does not care if you are male, female, young or old. It doesn't respect religion, political affiliation, creed or nationality. Rich or poor, no matter the skin color of the victim, it will strike down all within reach. We need to make every attempt to educate everyone l (world-wide) about how unnecessary and devastating the loss of life to a "E.D." is, for not only the individuals it tries to claim, but for the survivors as well.
I cry your tears too. Hugs and kisses, Sandy carolinafishy2@yahoo.com
GREAT SITE. AS ALWAYS! Luvs and Misses shawanda!!! LOVE COLLEENIE!
My name is Maria and I’m from the U.K. I suffered with an eating disorder for many years, going around in circles of not eating, eating then being sick. It was only when I found out that I was expecting my first child did I see what I was doing, of course eating will never be the same again, but I have it under control now. However, some like Shanda are not so lucky and having read the clouds through crying eyes my heart goes out to her family and friends for suffering this tragic and dare I say needless loss of life. How beautifully the Clouds are shown and to Shanda and her family you will always have a thought in my mind. God Bless xxx
Hi Shanda: I was out making some updates and accidentally deleted two of the most recent entries -Sorry - It has been one of those bad days. Love & Miss You Dearly, Dad
The information you provide is priceless, thank you. I am a nursing student with a strong passion about Eating disorders. I have seen my sister go down this path but thankfully has recovered well. Fantastic work. Anita Australia XXX000
Hello, I can relate to Shanda in that I too have struggled with anorexia for a very, very long time. I am now 28 years old and have had anorexia/ bulimia for 15 years. I know I am beyond recovery and that this will eventually kill me, but her story is touching none the less. It makes me feel not alone. Thank you for that. I hope to see Shanda soon...
I think this is a very interesting and helpful website to teenage girls around the world. I appreciate the courage you have to get this site up and running.
Hi - My name is Amanda. my eating disorder has been my best friend for the last 7 years of my life and, after a 10 week residential program, i am starting to abandon that best friend. someone once told me that the best thing you can do for another person suffering from an eating disorder is to take care of yourself. so I'm going to do that in memory of shanda, so she can be a part of my recovery. thank you for your beautiful site. -Amanda
Hi my name is Julia and I'm from the UK, I'm 27 and have been suffering from both anorexia nervosa and bulimia for the last 10 years, one day i cant bear the thought of food and the next i want to eat everything in sight and then throw up, its a vicious circle and don't know how I'm going to break it but reading the stories and seeing how much hurt and pain these disorders cause I'm going to seek help because i don't want to put my family threw an unnecessary funeral. Thank you for this site, its helped loads ... love from Julia xxx
Hi Button: I just got the pages corrected and I will be back out with more from notes I found. Love & Miss You - Dearly - Dad
Dear GA: Thank you for sharing your daughters story; broken hearts have a lot to share. I will send Shanda's web site to my daughter in hopes she will understand she does not have to "Fit In". She is also a Leo and as a Leo she requires a lot of attention. May God Bless all broken hearts. Love & A Hug - Betsy - Largo, FL.
Hey there! I just wanna say that I was very touched...your web site gave me extra strength to go on:) With Love: Paula from Finland
I sure hope everything you and your family went through will change the minds of people who check out this site, because it made me stop and think of how many times I wished I could be as thin as some people but now I see that it's not all a bed of roses. Thank you for your insight I'm just sorry that something like this is what it takes to wake some people up. You all must have went through so much. Well I have to go now but I will be back to see how the house is coming and to also check up on your story. TTFN - Connie
I think this is a very sad website. I am so sorry for your loss. I did not even know Shanda- but I am crying.
Hi..... This is a beautiful site....it saved one of my closest friends. Thank you so much for making this site. You to are an angel....and never forget that:)
Hi my name is Dominique and i am doing research for my psychology presentation on eating disorders. i found your site really informing and touching
Hi my name is Alyssa and I am a purging anorexic like Shanda was. This site is so sad yet touching. Shanda was such a beautiful person both inside and out. She definitely did not need this stupid disease to be beautiful. Its lovely that you have devoted so much time and effort and love into this site to honor her memory. She truly deserves this. She is such an inspiration. Love ally [I sincerely hope you get help Alyssa to overcome your eating disorder so you do not die the horrible death she did - Georgia]
Hello my name is Alyssa my friends call me lyss. I am 14 years old. Last year I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. I first thought this site would help me do what I was doing. After I went through the whole thing a couple months ago, I keep coming back to see how it changes. I am trying to get better and for a while I was getting better. Then I started to relapse it has been a struggle but I am trying. After being in the hospital and not wanting to get better I see it is ok to give in to the help I am receiving. Thank you xoxo Lyss
Dear Aunt Shanda, I just wanted to let you know that I am 12 going on 13 and I really miss u. You mean so much to me . And I wish you I could of said good bye. I miss you so much and you will always be in my heart. I love and I think about you all the time.
Dear Aunt Shanda, I really miss you and i can't stop thinking about you. I just wanted to let you know that every thing is going great with me and my brother. I am going to be thirteen and Thomas is going to be twelve. We are getting so big and i wish you were here to see it. My mom and dad kinda split up but, me and Thomas are trying to get her though it. I love you so much and i will never stop either. My mom has been putting a candle on my brother's b-day cake just for you. We will always miss you and care for so please keep thinking about us. My family misses you and so do I and that will never change I promise With love and care Kyrsten .E. Padula
December 13/03 12:40am Hi Shanda: I am e-mailing you from Ontario, Canada. I am so so sorry about your passing. I know that you are in safe hands with God and He is taking care of you. Your pain is gone forever and I believe that through this website you are going to help others with the horrific disease. My daughter is Anorexic and she is 20 years old. She is the most important person in my life and my only child. I am so afraid to loosing her. Your site has helped me tonight to see that there is light at the end of that tunnel. Sleep well and say Hi to God for me. Hugs and Kisses xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo
I appreciate that you're putting down so much effort on this site, it's really necessary nowadays due to all girls and boys out there having eating disorders. This is a very sad story about Shanda, I hope from all my heart that no one will go through something as awful as this. You should do some ads or something so more people could find out about this site, and learn something! I wish you all the best of luck, and take care. Remember - go and tell your family that you love them! :) Love/Eva from Sweden
Thank you for your kind words, Eva. I have not put ads on Shanda's site as most advertisers put tracking software on the computer when you visit a site and I do not like to do that to anyone. I keep submitting her site to the different search engines to increase her exposure.
Love May Lene and Kari R.I.P
Hey there! I'm Heather. I am Bulimia/Anorexia. I am trying to recover right now. But it's been really hard. But seeing your web site really helped me. I've realized how bad this disease is. Thank you soo much! I love this site! It'z soo beautiful and it helps people out soo much. Thanks again! Lots of love! ~Heather~
I am so sorry you lost your beautiful daughter. I have anorexia myself and exercise 2 to 2 and a half hours every day. I love the music on this site.
Hi,, Thanks to this site, I hope I will learn from it. Shanda is such a pretty girl. I am a 36 male who started searching looking for pro-anorexia sites because I want to starve my-self to lose weight. So far I have lost 25 pounds in two weeks and was looking through ana web sites to get help reducing my weight. I found Shanda's site and now know I need help. Thanks so much, Mark
I don't know if you remember my message, nearly two years ago...I was 13 then. My name is Cassia and I am now 15...I'm still struggling but Shanda's story has stayed in my heart ever since I first read it; I have been truly touched my this story, and although I didn't know Shanda, she is an angel to me as she is to everyone else who knew her...I feel as though I can relate to her as if I did know her, and she has a special place in my heart. Thank you Shanda, you are a true angel. Cassia x x x
I love the website and all the pictures. Thank you for the heart warming experience. I feel her pain that she had suffered but she is now an angel now and has no more pains or worries. God bless ~Mandy~
This web site is beautiful, Shanda was a beautiful girl and I am so sorry for her loss. It made me cry. I have had Anorexia/bulimia since I was 16 and now I'm 36 and it just seems that I am beyond any hope. I hate it . I always think "Oh I will never die from this", but you just never know. I will save this as my favorite spot and will visit it often to try and have this give me the reality of the fact that anyone can die from this and just what all we leave behind. I love my family and would hate to have them sad and missing me the way your family misses you. I hate this eating disorder and hope and pray that someday I might be free of it. God Bless you and your family that you left behind. Much love....Tammi -
My Heart breaks for you and your family, I too suffer from Anorexia and i hate it, it is not what it is cracked up to be, I am alone even when people are near, I hate myself so much, you had and still have a beautiful daughter, Your web site is beautiful too, It has made me think about things, Thank you God Bless E.M. UK.
Your site has hit home with me...I want to be healthy for myself and those who love me...Nothing is worth the price of death...Thank you...I look forward to the new clouds...
I think your website could be very inspirational to some people!
I was just now thinking that I wanted to go anorexic and then I was researching it and found this website. I can barley type - I'm crying so hard~ now I'm not even going to try. Thank you... My prayers and my heart goes out to all of Shanda's family in hopes that they will move on to see Shanda in the after life and they surely will. Your site has completely changed my point of view on all Eating Disorders.
[To whoever wrote the above message: I know Shanda is as happy as I am to know that you are not going to try the Anorexia thing - as it will control you - until it kills you. Your loved ones will miss you as much as Shanda's family and friends miss her.]
This was a very touching and moving site, and because of this site I honestly do believe it will help alot of people out everywhere fighting this disease, for starters "ME" Thanks, Love yall
You have done very well with dealing with the loss of your daughter. I am 21, married, with no children, but I can relate to your pain. I lost my sister to this horrible disease when she was 18 years old. I wish i could create a site like yours to tell my story about her, but I am kind of computer illiterate...lol. You truly do and will touch the lives of many with this site. I am so glad you put this up... your daughter is very proud of you, and is smiling down on you, and whispers "I love you mom" before you fall asleep at night. She is with you and always will be, and don't worry gram and grandpa will take good care of her. Thank you once again for telling her story...it was wonderful Jessica, Pittsburgh, Pa email: sky16_82@hotmail.com *If anyone wants to talk about ANYTHING, I will always respond no matter what...I am a social worker also, so everything will be kept private.* Thanks again.
Thank you for your kind words, Shanda's' clouds are a labor of Love for me and I know she is watching over all who Love her - even though she may not be with us physically - she will always be in our hearts and minds'.
I think it is very sad. :( I would hate to lose my little girl. I am only 15 but if I had a daughter I know I would be so sad. :( I know your family loves you and misses you Shanda's know what it's like to lose someone you love. You're not forgotten.*Hugs*
I miss you so so much, I cannot even describe the feelings and regret. Love Always, Your Brother...Eddie
Eddie.....
Precious & I will always be near you....
I have to say this is a pretty great website. But to tell you the truth I just kinda stumbled upon the website when I was looking for Pro-Ana links. See I am 16 and have been dealing with an eating disorder on and off for at least a couple years now. I am one of those who at first was scared of what I was doing and wanted help, help that I never got when I wanted it b/c my parents didn't actually know what all I was doing and how serious it was becoming and therefore didn't know what to do.
Now I feel that it may be to late for me b/c I am still really struggling with my eating disorder and push away anyone offering help b/c I no longer want/or feel like I need anyone's help. But basically what I wanted you to know is that, running across your web site really made me stop and think about the consequences and what could happen to me. I hate to think that this could be the reason I would die. I have so much to do in life and I don't want to hurt the people in my life who really care about and love me a lot. I don't know if I can stop at this point and still I'm not sure that I fully want to, but if it makes the difference in whether or not I live or die then I am willing to try and get help and hopefully fully recover.
You have gave me a wake up call that no one else has been able to give me and for that I am really grateful. I am glad I ran across your site. It was very touching yet so sad that I was in tears. I am truly sorry for your loss of Shanda. From what I read she seemed like a truly wonderful person. Her and her story will forever remain in my heart. Keep up the good work on your site and yet again I really want you to know how grateful I am to you. xoxoxo! Jessica
Dear Jessica: I am so happy that you stumbled upon Shanda's web site and that it has made you realize you are going to die unless "YOU" get help. No one can help you unless you "Truly Want Help". Please, either email me or leave a note to let me know how you are doing "Please" - as I and I know Shanda does not want you to die. Love & A Hug, Georgia Click here to send me a email
I came upon your tribute to Shanda after having watched the Dr.Phil show on Anorexia. It brought tears to my eyes. What a truly beautiful girl Shanda was. This website is the highest honor you can bestow on your darling daughter. My heart goes out to you and your family. What a lucky girl she was to have had so much love. If after reading this, one person suffering from Anorexia seeks helps. then Shanda's death will not have been in vain. God Bless, Deborah
[Thank you for visiting Shanda's Clouds. We do hope others will visit just to learn how deadly E.D. is and we hope these clouds will change their life. Georgia]
Hi Georgia: My name is Jessica and I wrote a comment in the guestbook Apr. 10. I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing o.k. . I meant to e-mail you or at least post a comment sooner but I've been busy and things are a little hectic with me right now.
I did try to stop my eating disorder on my own and for a couple of weeks it was pretty successful but a couple of days ago things started going back down hill and I've stopped eating again. I had to go to the doctor the other day( I have to go every couple weeks to check my weight and make sure I'm still in my normal weight range and not losing any anymore) and I told my mom and Dr. briefly why I had decided to try and stop and everything. That was the day everything started going down hill and I wanted to tell my mom that I was going back down hill and maybe I needed professional help but seeing as how happy her and my Dr. were that I've been doing so well( of course my mom's thought I've been o.k. for months now) I couldn't do it. I also kinda freaked when I found out how much I weighed and on top of everything else I just decided that I couldn't try to stop anymore. I feel that I need my eating disorder to help me with my problems and I feel so disgusting right now and want to be skinny again and I need it to be happy. I really don't know what to do. If you( or anyone else) could please maybe give me some advice it would be very much appreciated. Thanks. Much love to you and your family. xoxo xoxoxo Jessica, Oh yeah and my e-mail address is countrygirl04@bellsouth.net
I found this site on Lisa Arndt's web page...thank you for sharing such a personal struggle with the world. I have been struggling with anorexia and bulimia for 10 years. I sense the pain you feel since losing your daughter...I see the same pain in my parents' faces. I don't want to die, but anorexia is so hard to stop. It is comforting to see that you have supported your daughter in her struggles, because so many people turn their backs on us. And you have done a beautiful thing by honoring the memory of your beautiful daughter. With love, Kristina
Your website was very moving and very touching. I too struggle with an eating disorder (I am 21) and your site was very inspirational to me. I share in your desire to raise the awareness of the horrible effects and truths about eating disorders. I am so sorry for your loss! Thank you for your website, your daughter was lucky to have parents like you! Aimee I also have a website at http://hometown.aol.com/aimers55/page1.html
This web site is really beautiful and emotional, but also sad. Tears are falling from my eyes. All the best feelings and love from Heidi, Finland
I think that it's important to get Shanda's story out for people to read, I applaud you guys for gathering the strength to put something like this together... but you story is HORRIBLY written. the basic ideas are there but who ever wrote it has terrible grammar/phrasing and can't spell at all. the "likes" and the little "~"s every five seconds are extremely annoying and I think they'll discourage many people from reading your story.
Hey There Dad & Georgia, I have the great luck to be able to view Shanda's Web-site. You've done a great job. I'm sure she is as beautiful as the day she went to be with the lord. It was nice to spend some time with you. I'm glad I was able to spend some time with precious. She was a great cat. I hope to be able to come visit again when the weather slows the work up here. Everything is going well up here. I appreciate my life up here so much more. Talk to you soon. Love You, Princess
This is a very moving web site. I was very touched, and very grateful that I overcame my bout with anorexia. I am, however, now struggling with compulsive overeating. Being 5'10" and weighing almost 400 pounds is no healthier than weighing 95 pounds was. But I am going to be 50 years old in five weeks -- a year younger than my father was when he died, and seven years younger than my cousin was when he died, both of alcoholism. I do not want to lose my life to the same sort of problem. Thank you for reminding me just how dangerous this can be. -- Molly Anne, Seattle
Dear Molly Anne: I am happy and sad for you at the same time. Happy that you overcame anorexia and sadden to know you have the opposite problem. I sincerely pray that you are getting professional help. Please email me of how you are doing: Click Here
Your site has touched me in a way that no other information on eating disorders has! I have been suffering from Anorexia for 3 years and while I'm moving forward, the path is long and hard as an eating disorder is as addictive as being on drugs! Its important that people hear your story and realize that this is a serious and deadly illness. Good luck to all those who are dealing with it, may you find strength within to fight it! Hannah, Los Angeles
Dear Shanda, Every time I read your story, I feel so sad. I've been sick for so many years, but one day I said to myself: What kind of life is this? To never have fun, always thinking how to get thin. Take care Shanda, God Bless You!!! Love Jeanette
Hi I'm fifteen years old and although I don't have an eating disorder I am aware that it is a big problem and I think that your site is an inspiration to those who have the disease and also a huge eye opener to everyone else. I am so sorry for your loss. Keep up the good work on the site.
Hey, I am 17 and from the Uk, I know everyone must say sorry for your loss, but I truly am. I wish there was something I could do or say to make the pain of losing someone go away, but I know that I cant. Ur site is so touching. God Bless Shanda, Rest In Peace Sweetheart. Love always, Sarah. x x x
I left a message before, as I was recovering, but I am afraid, i am back with the old habits, but they feel comforting to me, I do not want my folks to go through what you have all been through but i hurt so much inside, I feel I cannot cope any longer, I am just so tired of the fight, but I know I will go on because that's all I know, so thanks for the site, it is amazing and I know helping people as we speak, but as always I am so sorry for your loss it hurts me deep to know what you must have gone through, Rock_chic79@hotmail.com is where interested people can find me, ...THANKS !!
Love from Evelina, Sweden
Very moving. But you don't look that skinny, I have seen much skinnier who aren't even sufferers.
I think your site is very inspirational. I too was diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia at the tender age of 13. It was awful, but now I am slowly recovering. I think its great to pass on your dear friends story. Thank you.
I think this site is a great way to show a lot of young girls what it's all about. I know a few people right now living with all the pain everyday but of course to them it's not pain it's well at least I am not fat (is what they say). I look at them and it makes me sad and it makes me sick all at once. What do you really tell people that ask the question (Do I look good in this or this is great don't you wish you looked like me?) It's very hard and you have to be careful what you say to people coping with this problem or it could lead it to become worse.... Truly yours Angie
I think this site is so emotional and you have done a great job on it. I have suffered from eating disorder for 5years and I am now 17, it is very hard to get over but i am getting there. take care all of you, hopefully this website will help other girls. take care. Angela (England) xx
HI, I have been visiting Shanda's site regular, and i have left a couple of messages, hope you read them, I was in recovery but now i am back on the same road as before, Why i keep doing this i do not know, maybe one day before it is too late i shall find some help that works, and finally admit that i have a problem, To Shanda's dad and Brother and of course all the other family members, Thank you for giving me this place to be, where i can sit for a little while in silence to think about my life etc, I know Shanda will be looking down on you all, God Bless and Luv Dizzy.kitty@btinternet.com
I found this very touching and extremely moving. Having an eating disorder myself seeing this makes we want to fight and live the life I want to live.
I love this site. it is nicely designed and it comes as a sobering reminder of what will happen if you submit to those unrealistic cultural "ideals". i have been bulimic for nine years, and I'm just beginning now to realize what damage it can do and what damage i HAVE done to myself already. to anyone who WANTS to be bulimic or anorexic as a quick fix to their baby fat or that 10 extra pounds, reconsider and think hard on WHY would you want to do something so incredibly hurtful to yourself. think. K.W.
My name is Tomas. My wife struggled with an eating disorder off and on during the 20 years of our marriage and it finally killed her. I wish she would have gotten help. I miss her dearly. In memory of Helen.
Hi - there was an article in the paper today about this disorder which spoke about the websites. I haven't any personal experience with this disease but for some reason I decided to see what was "out there". I came across this website. It is moving and a wonderful testament to your daughter. I have always believed that people live on through the memories of others. Your daughter now lives in my memory.
This website, although informative, is VERY disturbing. I think it's disgusting how you are putting words in your dead daughter's mouth. It's good that you're trying to help others and establish rapport by being your daughter, but there is something morally wrong about making her speak. Leave the dead in peace.
[Please note: The words in her story came from a journal - and from what she told me before in the years before she died.]
I found this very touching and very sad all at the same time. I think by seeing this it might help me find more strength to move on. I just want to let any males who have eating disorders know there is help for us. If any males with eating disorders want to contact me that would be great. sydney_74@hotmail.com/ the support would be great. Paul
I want to please say to any males how have an eating disorder to contact me. I have had this evil eating disorder for 4 years now. I have been in the hospital 4 times and twice in treatment. I want support from males not that support from females is bad. But I want to know the male side of it. I am going into treatment once again and I pray this time I find the courage to beat this monster that has robbed of 4 years of my life. Shanda I don't know u but I love u and pray that u have found the peace u r were looking for Paul You can reach me at sydney_74@hotmail.com
HELLO TO THE FAMILY OF SHANDA GOD BE WITH YOU ALL I READ THE STORY AND IT TOUCHED MY HEART GOD BLESS YOU ALL . TO SHANDA'S DAD YOUR A GREAT DAD I CAN SEE BY THE WAY YOU WRITE TO HER HEAR HOW MUCH YOU MISS HER GOD BE WITH YOU TILL YOU MEET AGAIN. BETTY INDIANA
My heart goes out to Shanda's family. Extremely touching website. God bless, Shanda Daisey, Virginia
Thank you all so very much for divulging most personal secrets for the sake of others with whom you have never even met. may Shanda rest in peace.
WOW... I am hurting so bad right now. I really don't know how to feel, I have recently started treatment for my E.D. it has been so so hard, I never realized how much pain it brings to other people who love you. I want to stop but I still look at myself in the mirror and now I see someone stupid for even trying what i do, i still don't see who and what I want to see. Shanda: you have such amazing friends and family they miss you and I miss you and I will always have you in my mind, when while I go through my struggle to give me strength, I just wish someone was there for you as much as you are here for me and other girls and boys. thank you so much I am truly sorry and I will pass your story on and your clouds will be visited by my friends and family. :) Shanda's Mom and Dad and Eddie: it hurts me to even try imagine your pain I cant even imagine doing or wondering how my parents feel or would feel. I could type for ever telling you how thankful and moved and touched I am, these clouds gave me tears of strength and sorry but again thank you so very much. Eddie hang in there be strong :) please email me if you want to I would love to hear from you and receive and updates or details thanx again Chanti (15 years old) sacrzy123@hotmail.com
Date: 22 Jul 2004 Time: 10:39:45 This website, although informative, is VERY disturbing. I think it's disgusting how you are putting words in your dead daughter's mouth. It's good that you're trying to help others and establish rapport by being your daughter, but there is something morally wrong about making her speak. Leave the dead in peace. I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW RUDE THIS IS, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT WHO EVER WROTE THIS YOU SERIOUSLY OBVIOUSLY DO NOT KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO LOOSE YOUR DAUGHTER MAYBE I DON'T EITHER BUT I KNOW WHAT AN EATING DISORDER IS AND ITS NOTHING TO LAUGH ABOUT. AND EVEN IF SHANDA'S MOM AND DAD WHERE PUTTING WORDS IN HER MOUTH IT WOULD ONLY BE WHAT THEY KNOW. HOW HARD DO YOU THINK IT IS TO READ SOMEONE'S JOURNAL AND THEN BE ABLE TO SHARE TO THE WORLD? PLEASE IT HURT ME TO JUST SEE THE WORD "DISGUSTING" ON THESE CLOUDS. IM SORRY MOM AND DAD I JUST HAD TO LET THOSE FEELINGS OUT LOVE CHANTI ( HUGS AND KISSES) [Please note: The words in her story came from a journal - and from what she told me before in the years before she died. From comments in her guestbook and from what I know of Shanda she would want others to know how she suffered and that others do not have to suffer.]
I believe that this is one of the most touching sites I have ever been to. its amazing how much she's missed and talked as if she was still here. because she is with everyone she was close to in their hearts.
Just visiting again... i just completed a PowerPoint on eating disorders for a class I am taking and I just wanted to let you know that one of the slides has www.shandashaffer.com on it asking people to view it and it says "it will change your life....it changed mine" thanx again ... my love is with you all...love Chanti
Thank you. I am 35 and was too thin in College. In the last year I have put on 30 pounds in my stomach and It is hard as a rock. I have gone to two doctors and instead on try to find a problem they just tell me I need to start counting calories and do more exercise. I eat 1000 cal a day and close to 4 hours of exercise. I hope they find out what is wrong. None of these problems are easy to solve you would think after so many years there would be more help available.
I am from Spain, 19 years old and have anorexia since I was 13(though I was recovered during 2 years). I've found this web so tender and it has made me almost cry... Shanda's people are really great. I let here my e-mail for anyone who wants to write me, giving or looking for support: kilarny@hotmail.com
This is a wonderful site, written in a way that really personalizes the sadness. I'm a male and at one time suffered from extreme anorexia and bulimia, although I was fortunate enough to be given a pill of MDMA - a now illegal, but amazingly therapeutic drug that made me "Wake up". After that, I simply snapped out of the behavior and have never thrown up or starved myself since.
Hi - my name is Dania and I'm from Sydney (Australia) this website is fantastic yet but sad - I cry every time I visit this site knowing you guys have lost your daughter - how sorry I am - my prayers and thoughts are with you and your daughter :)
Just wanted to say, for anyone out there suffering from anorexia/ bulimia and/or depression, you have a friend in me. not a day goes past when I don't think of you all, to live in this hell is unbearable. For ANY of you out there, currently suffering from suicidal ideas, please speak to me. I find so many things that have prevented me from taking my life- I'd love to share them with you. also for any mothers with children suffering from the above- please feel free to message me with queries you are perhaps too worried to ask your own child. lots of love Liz x
Hi Shawanda..I, I miss you. Wish you were here.....Good friends are hard to find.. Luv ya girl!
I think the site is touching. I am 37, been married to a wonderful man for the past 15 yrs, we have 2 beautiful daughters, ages 12 1/2 and 3 1/2. I unknowingly started anorexia bulimia at 14, I didn't realize it until I was in treatment at age 28, when it was diagnosed. I worked really hard on recovery for 4 yrs until I thought I was better. Until recently, I realized that I obsess over my body again. I have not started taking anything thing or purging, but I watch everything that I eat and I see myself heading in a wrong direction. I love my family so much and have so much to live for. I talk to my cousin about it because we both have similar issues. But, I feel like I can't tell anyone about my feelings because I don't want to hurt them. You and your family are awesome and I am sure you have a lot of pain when you read Shanda's journals. PS. I can't wait to hug my girls. God Bless
I was searching the web for pro-Anorexia sites when I came across this one. I have struggled for many years with an ED. The second this page opened I couldn't help but burst into tears. It really makes you think. I can't tell you how much this web site has started to change my thinking. I just can't imagine putting my parents and my loved ones through the pain. Thank you sooo much for creating this web site. It is people like Shanda Who make all the difference in a persons life. God Bless!
I think what you are doing with this website is outstanding. Don't drop the ball, you've got a good thing going here. I know Shanda is proud of her family for their efforts and influence their placing on others. =)
This is a lovely website with so much sadness. I feel pressure to fit in... But I will watch myself better now. Thank you for putting this website up. God bless you.
Shanda I miss you dearly. You Cuz, Susie
...Thank You
[To whomever wrote this entry, you are welcome...]
I think that this is a wonderful website. I don't believe in God, but if there is a God up there, I will find him/her and pray for Shanda. I do believe that I can overcome this and I know that she has helped me believe. I am 15 and I weigh 92 pounds. I am glad to know that there is hope for me, but sad to know that there isn't any
I love your website. I am not anorexic, I was just doing a presentation about it and I was really touched by Shanda's story. I hope you don't mind Ms. Georgia, but I want to use Shanda's story. She seemed to be a wonderful person and she has wonderful family I can see who loved/loves her very much. May God Bless your family. Thank you so much for sharing that! I will pray for you. KiKi- pluckytaylor@yahoo.com
Only God knows how thankful I am for finding your site. Thank u from the bottom of my heart. God Bless u
Because of this website I am now getting help. I thought I was fat because I weighed 120pounds but now i am going to lose weight the correct way. I'm so thankful I found this site. god bless u -Jessie André
This is a great way to help people. I'm recovering from anorexia. I think its going to be a life long battle. Thank you
It was beautiful. I read the poems and just sat here with tears streaming down my face. I try to tell my son and daughter every day how much they mean to me. We may not have tomorrow. Bless you
This website is truly truly amazing... you just touched my heart...truly. Dearly... I am currently interested in studying eating disorder statistics...maybe not a study but a research, anyway I will regularly visit this site and will inform others about it...i hope that by your actions others will realize the message.. thank you and god bless! Jayme
It is very sweet!! I am sorry for what happened.
This is the site that brings big tears to your eyes.
I'm an 30-yr.old Black female with bulimia. Fifteen years ago, I started as an anorexic, the so-called "white girl's" disease. Imagine how back then, it was really hard having a disease with a race label. My entire family was stunned and shocked because these were illnesses only white girls had. I've been in and out of treatment for 15-years and I'm still struggling. If only there were information and encouragement like this when I was a child, maybe I'd be well now. I believe the greatest gift you can give back is your knowledge, courage, and truth. No one wants to hear the truth because it's so disturbing but it is the only way you can help your loved one. Shanda was so beautiful and we often see in others what we refuse to see in ourselves. I would never call myself beautiful and I'd say "what are you thinking, you're gorgeous, why are you doing this to yourself?" I don't regret my struggle because it has partly shaped who I am today. What's more important is young women who find themselves caught up in looking "perfect," there is help, there are these web sites, there are people to talk to and relate to. God bless you and your good work and may many lives be saved.
[Thank you for your candid comments. Anorexia / Bulimia is a disease that does not care what the color of your gender is, it is a disease that is driven by need of people wanting to fit in with the crowd, to be accepted by others. One has to learn to accept themselves, the person inside. I sincerely hope and pray you over come the disease.]
Hi Shawanda! I Miss you!!! COLLEENIE
Hello...Shanda was a very beautiful woman....I also lost my best friend, age 22, from anorexia....please know you are in my prayers.... please read about our story www.featherweightinc.com love and peace, Jil Lucidi
Your Website is very touching. To be honest with you I cried reading through all of the things posted. I have thought about going Anorexic many times. I know its bad but after reading all of this and knowing the downsides of being anorexic, I think I am just going to go on a diet. ~Love
Joanna from Poland. I've been bulimic for over 5 years. I'm running out of new ideas how to stop vomiting. It's hopeless... Waiting for death :(
[Joanna - I hope you come back to view Shanda's' guestbook as the is no such thing as hopeless.. If you truly want to stop vomiting - you need to ask for help, please click on may name to send me an email Georgia]
I think it is beautiful. We lost out son in a sledding accident in Feb.1996 and not a day goes by that you don't wish that you had given that extra hug or said I love you. Johnny will always be with us. I wrote my poem a week after it happened. It might not sound good to some people but it does to me. Thank you, Charmaine Pardee
[Charmaine, I am so sorry for your loss, please email me the poem, I would love to read it. Georgia Just click on my n